DOWNSIZING

Can it really be a year? Already?

“So, what are your worst and best parts?”

It’s a question we have been asking since our kids were little, a way to start a conversation and encourage introspection.

The sun was behind the pines, the air was warm, and the macadamia-encrusted halibut with lemon cream sauce was DE-LI-CIOUS. We couldn’t wait to try the homemade pecan pie we were delighted to discover at the local farmer’s market.

In some ways, it seemed like more than 12 months since we had arrived here in Montana, our new H-O-M-E. In other ways, it was still a bit surreal.

If you’re new here, we sold our home in Minnesota and moved across the country to Montana. In a nutshell, we left behind family and friends to live on a smaller footprint, in a smaller home with hopes of chasing a dream.

The dream? We asked ourselves a simple question:

What do you want your days to look like?

First, I need to acknowledge that is a great privilege to be retired and have the resources to ask that question. But, honestly, I know a few friends who can’t quite cut the cord to their jobs, who have the resources to step away, and if you are one of them - what are you waiting for? I’m gonna ask a hard question here: what are you afraid of? No, you won’t adjust immediately. No, the first activity you try might not stick. Yes, it will be uncomfortable and require some adapting. But, IF you have any agency at all to choose even part of what your days look like, I say JUMP.

Alright, enough of the soap box. Let’s move on to what I really want to address:

MOVING.

To be honest, I have blocked out some of the distress I experienced from our move last year. It was not days, but months before my body signaled that I was going to be okay. It helped to speak kindly to myself: Your reaction is normal. Grief is expected after loss or significant change. For now, [fill in the blank].

Us unsuccessfully holding back tears before we drove away. 8/28/23

But, we didn’t just move. We downsized and are now several states away from all that was familiar. So, maybe a bit more complex than just a different house.

So, you ask, what’s our answer to the big question?

1. We want to be outdoors and active as many days as possible.

2. We want less stuff to organize, store, and take care of. This frees us up to volunteer/serve and travel to see our loved ones.

Climate was a huge factor in our decision, as we had tired of the extremes in Minnesota. Sweat-drenched summer days standing on shores of green algae-covered lakes was zero fun for us and our dog. Winters without snow severely limited outdoor adventures. The winter landscape, sans snow, was monotone and dismal to look at. It was frustrating to be confined indoors.

Here in the mountains, it isn’t perfect, but it’s a big improvement. Sure, we had that one stretch of -38 temps (the first time in decades), AND those weeks of unending grey cloudy days. But, Jim could get up on the mountain tops by either skiing or snowmobiling, breaking through to bright sunshine. My solo treks into the nearly deserted park (Glacier) restored my soul with quiet solitude and stunning vistas. Narnia-like days are common, affording me a lovely view as I hunker down with coffee, a good book, and a warm fire.

Going-to-the-Sun Road, Glacier National Park, 1/13/24

This summer has also been nearly perfect: warm, dry days and cool, refreshing nights and mornings. All the lakes and rivers are crystal clear and we have unlimited hiking options. It’s common for me to turn to Jim at night and say, “Do you want to go on an adventure tomorrow? Great! Where should we go?” With less overall responsibility, we have decided to give ourselves permission to play more often, and to take life less seriously. We laugh more easily and have a more relaxed, easy-going posture towards each other and our calendar.

So what are the drawbacks, you ask? Well, a bunch of them are still works in progress. Humans don’t like change, and adapting takes time and effort. Roots don’t grow overnight, but also, if you never dig up the ground and plant the seeds, don’t be disappointed when you don’t have a crop.

I still miss my family and friends. Making friends as an adult is not for the faint of heart, and being an introvert doesn’t help. Although we have lived far away from Minnesota before, it still hurts when we miss celebrations or can’t be beside loved ones who are grieving. As Ben Rector so eloquently says, “But truth is there’s nothing like old friends, cause you can’t make old friends”.¹

Family gathering at the Miedtke Century Farm. 5/11/24

Rural living doesn’t have the options that big city living does. No specialty, frou-frou grocery stores, no Trader Joe’s, no guarantee that your favorite item can be found anywhere IN THE STATE. Sigh. I don’t really miss the shopping, but I have had to adjust to ordering, shipping, and returning. Sure, it’s a hassle. But seriously, don’t we all have too many clothes anyway? At first, I resented the lack of recliner seats at the movie theatre, but if I just wait a bit, I can enjoy the films in the comfort of my home…which has a recliner, btw. (I bet you’re seeing how spoiled I was, aren’t you?)

I think I also prefer contentment (simple) versus overstimulation (busy).

We still have a storage unit. Yes, my type-A personality had lofty goals of at least having a smaller unit by now. But, alas, total knee replacement surgery cramped my style for a while (and still is) so I’m requesting an extension on this one. We are functioning, and forcing ourselves to take a breath before we make final decisions on what to keep and where to put it.

While continuing to disentangle ourselves from the evidence of years of overindulging, of bits and bobs and odds and ends of things we no longer need, a lightness is emerging. Life is just simpler here.

Many Glacier Hotel @ Swiftcurrent Lake, 6/8/24

While I’m not suggesting that in 12 short months, I can know without a single doubt from now until the end of time that this was the RIGHT decision, I can confidently share specific ways that confirm, for now, that this move has created a life-giving, enriching state that I am 100% basking in.

My Top Ten Good-So-Far List:

1. Less home and yard to care for.

2. The daily scent of pine trees.

3. The slow pace of life.

4. Friendly, respectful neighbors.

5. More spontaneity.

6. A vibrant faith community.

7. Picturesque views and fresh air. Everywhere.

8. No more garter snakes.

9. Tourist and local demand for good restaurants.

10. A spouse willing to take a risk. Again.

We love being outside.

We spend an enormous amount of time outdoors, which was one of the reasons we moved. Glacier National Park is only 25 minutes away, and we both enjoy driving to Logan Pass (2 hours one way) just to say OOOH and AHHH and WOW LOOK AT THAT MOUNTAIN!!! The national forests out here just meld into each other, giving us access to unlimited trails, rivers and lakes. We will never see it all, but we are certainly trying!

Logan Pass Star Show, 9/8/23

Our pace is slower now. We often sit outside in the morning while Gracie enjoys the cool front lawn, or at night watching the sunset as the neighborhood prepares to sleep. In our town of 6000 people, most shops close by dinner time. We sometimes pack up late in the day for a drive to Lake McDonald, or maybe a jaunt over to our favorite ice cream shop in Whitefish, Sweet Peaks.

We take naps when we are tired or text friends in the afternoon to meet up for an unplanned dinner out. Often, you’ll find us 10 minutes away in Rivers Edge Park, throwing the frisbee for Gracie or tossing a stick into the river so she can cool off in the pristine water with a quick swim. Or, we will stroll through the neighborhood, spying darling fawns as they nibble on the low branches of trees.

With a more leisurely existence in the past months, we have had time to reflect. Introspection is a familiar avenue for us, a practice that helps us look within by asking questions, noticing and listening.

So, worst and best part? Hmm…

Worst: Tearing out roots and replanting them is painful, and growth can move at a snail’s pace.

Best: Rarely does a day go by when I’m not outdoors doing something. Not soaked by humidity, or enduring cold that hurts my face.

We are still figuring things out, but are offering ourselves grace in the process. Moving always works like a magnet to draw Jim and I closer as we depend solely on each other to understand and share the sacrifices and the rewards. I have learned that few things in life are permanent or unchangeable. Most of us take ourselves and our to-do lists too seriously, and we all need to loiter and frolic and giggle a lot more. And slow and steady is okay in our instant world.

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1. Rector, Ben. “Old Friends.”